The pros of being in a long distance relationship?
There are none.
This is a typical day in the life of an engaged couple living in two separate countries:
7:00 am - I get up to get ready for school. Brian is still sound asleep because it is 4:00 am his time.
7:45 am - I skype Brian and wake him up to say goodbye. He gives a groggy and dazed "Good morning. Have a good day at school. I'll talk to you soon. Love you." and I head to my classes.
8:00 am - 12:00 pm - I am in school doing school stuff. By noon my time, Brian has just begun his workday.
12:00 pm - 3:00 pm - Depending on the day, I will be studying, eating with friends, or going to work. By 3 my time, Brian is heading for his lunch break. If his day is not too busy, he will try giving me a ring. Depending on how busy my current day is, I will or will not pick up.
4:00 pm - 6:00 pm - I will either be ellipticalling or working. This is typically around the time of the day that I will be able to either give Brian a ring or he will try to call me as he is heading back into the office from his lunchbreak. I tell him briefly about my day, what the rest of my evening looks like, and around what time I think we will be able to skype. He tells me how his day is going, when he plans to be home and asks whether or not I can call him back from my house phone since this phone call is being made on his company cell and is costing them long-distance buckaroos.
6:00 pm - 9:00 pm - I look over schoolwork for the next day, go to a school-related field experience, or just take it easy. It really depends on the day. Tonight for example, I am going to an AA meeting with Katie and Anneliese at 8. Fun. Should be home by 9:30 pm which is when Brian gets home.
9:00 pm - 11:00 pm - Skype session with Brian. He gets home, cooks dinner, and eats it on cam while I recap my day. I hate that he eats at this time because I have already eaten dinner around 6ish or 7ish and then I have to watch Brian cook some pasta and eat it in front of me which arouses my previously content and satiated appetite. He tells me about his day and what tomorrow looks like and then we usually share interesting articles or youtube videos that we've come across. Sometimes, we "watch movies together" by streaming videos in sync.
11:00 pm - We are still on skype. I get ready for bed. It's only 8:00 pm for Brian so he'll begin his workout. As I get into bed, I apologize beforehand just in case I accidentally fall asleep on him and if I do, I wish him good night. Brian reassures me that he doesn't mind and that just in case I do fall asleep on him, he wishes me good night.
11:20 pm - I usually fall asleep on him.
2:30 am - Brian goes to bed.
The end. Yes. Really glamorous. But we make it work. Do I recommend long distance relationships? No way, Jose. Not unless you're willing to put a lot of tears and pain and lonely nights into it and tons of money into flights. Brian and I do pretty well with seeing each other frequently. Either he or I will fly out to see one another approximately every other month. But geez is it expensive. It also helps that both Brian and I keep pretty busy. I have an insane school schedule along with work and Brian just started a new job so he's kept busy with learning all the new tricks of his trade. It definitely makes time go by fast. And our time together that much sweeter.
We will see each other in 30 days. :)
Hi Gina,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the random post. I just googled "transcontinental relationships" and this was one of the first hits. Very nice entry!
I'm currently in a transatlantic relationship (I'm in the States, he's in Europe) and things between us are really great, but I just have doubts about the sustainability of long-distance relationships. Thus the googling - I know it's silly and you shouldn't trust what's on the internet, but at this point I just want to be reassured that things can get better.
Anyway, if you feel like sharing any wisdom, feel free to e-mail me at:
boijia@gmail.com
Cheers,
Sonia
Hi Sonia! I'm glad you enjoyed my post! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you know by now that the long-distance thing isn't easy. Brian and I didn't really start off intending to maintain any type of relationship at first but now we're engaged! So yes! Things can definitely get better! I think the key component was actually putting in the resources and time to see each other as often as possible in person. Sure, Skype helps but nothing is better than time spent together in person. It was definitely expensive flying back and forth between the two countries but luckily, our jobs have been really flexible and willing to work with us leaving so frequently.
Another major aspect I would definitely advise is to have some sort of plan to actually BE together. This one's a little trickier and a bit more complicated because in your case, that would mean one person would have to leave his/her family and friends to live across the world. Any tentative plan may be helpful in securing your relationship for the long haul (especially if you guys are going to be separated for a while). It definitely kept me focused and that much more dedicated to my relationship (Well, the engagement ring was probably the biggest relationship-keeper).
The last few things I would ask is that you seriously, honestly look at your relationship from a realistic standpoint: 1) Are you both strongly and equally committed to making things work? 2) When's the next time you will see each other? In a few weeks, months, years? 3) Do you trust your partner? I think all of these questions should definitely be considered before making any major decisions.
I do want to clarify that each relationship is complicated and unique in its own way. I'm obviously speaking from my own experience and yours may be completely different. I don't think that there's anything too mind-blowing in what I've said but I hope it at least helped a little bit!
Anyways, I'm sorry to have written you such a long response but I guess the bottom line is, if you guys really care about each other and have the desire to make things work, everything will work out in the end! :) I am definitely looking forward to March when I'll finally be able to be with my fiance! It's been a long two years, but it'll definitely be worth all the blood and tears when I'm finally able to hold him knowing that this time, I won't have to let him go! :)
Good luck Sonia! I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!
Hi Gina,
ReplyDeleteWell, it's almost three years later. Obviously, you're married! I'm just wondering how things turned out for you guys. I Googled transcontinental relationships and I found this blog. I'm experiencing one for the first time and it happened so unexepectedly. Well, according to you live feed, your blog is still attracting visitors so, feel great about that. Do you have another blog that you write? Thanks!