Bitchzilla

I am the worst fiancee. Ever.

I'd like to take this time to publicly apologize to my loving and thoughtful fiance for having to put up with me being in stage five bitch mode.

School and work have been slowly chipping away at my sanity. This semester is just. INSANE. On top of that I got my first C's. On TWO major exams. And this is after 10 days of non-stop studying. Yes. An Asian who gets C's. They do exist (We usually try to eradicate them). I wouldn't have minded the C's so much had I not studied my ass off. Now I want my ass back because it totally wasn't worth it. Along with my double C's (I wish I was talking about boobies), I let my diet go to complete crap. The exercise I still am holding remnants of here and there but healthy eating has been a big ol' fail.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Poor Brian. He got the brunt of my frustrations and stress. Last night I was in THE most terrible mood. Like I'm talking EPIC proportions bad. I was tired, cranky, and just found out that a supposed "bridal prize" I won was just a sales pitch scam. Brian had just gotten home from work and asked me how I liked my new tennis shoes that he had purchased for me as a gift. Yes, this is about to get ugly.

Me.

I told him I hated them. I told him that they totally sucked. Just. Like. Him.

Brian looked like I had just stabbed him in the gut.

I should have apologized right then and there. I should have been honest and explained that I was having a horrible day and that I really needed to get some rest and that we'd talk when I was feeling better. I should have reassured him that everything was going to be fine and that I couldn't wait to see him in a couple of weeks. I should have told him that I loved him.

Ouchies.

But I didn't.

I told him that I was going to bed and then I did just that.

I'm sure the devil is putting on the sheets to my cot in the most cockroach infested part of hell.

My roommate.

If it's any consolation, I did apologize to Brian first thing when I woke up. And I was and am genuinely sorry. He's been amazing throughout my whole menopausal ordeal and I am ashamed to have scapegoated him. Being the amazing guy he is, he forgave me and told me that he understood. No anger, no blame -- just loving, consoling, comforting forgiveness.

I am, quite literally, the luckiest bitch in the world.  :)



Fifteen days. ♥