Warning: B*tchy Fat Girl Rant Ahead....

What.

The.

Hell.



So I've gained 8 pounds in the last month.

EIGHT.

Eiiiiiggggghhhhtttttt.



Ate.



Do you know how long it took me to lose those 8 pounds??? WAYYYYY longer than a month.

Granted, it's been a horrible eating month.
Brian and his mother visited for 9 days and I ate my brains out.
Easter dinners -- I ate my brains out.
Bridal shower -- Ate my brains out. Three times.
FAREWELL DINNERS (All five of them...) -- Ate ate and ate some more.

Sighhhhhhhh.

So simply just being conscious just isn't cutting it anymore. I've tried doing a few things to slow down the blow up.... The body wrap was nice (it got a little cold towards the end of the session) and I lost 3 inches but definitely no weight loss. I don't really understand where the 3 inches went.... maybe just redistributed to different parts of my body? It'd be nice if they conveniently redistributed up to my tatas but I've yet to see that happen.

I also did a colon cleanse (wowzers, unpleasant) and you do feel super skinny after that much bulk loss.... but I was also feeling pretty starved afterwards. It's just a natural reaction right? Empty the gut, must refill! :)

Now that I'm a certified bum... I can DEFINITELY feel the weight just WAITING to pack on. It's almost as if it's been WAITING for my ass to quit and start sleeping in more, sittin' around more, Youtube away.... (I've seriously become a youtube addict) It's so frustrating watching other skinny people stuff their faces with all the food they want and not gain an ounce. I eat a french fry and I balloon up like a hippo. A happy hippo -- but a hippo nonetheless.

I know there's no easy solution to weightloss. I just gotta stop bitchin' about it and just DO it. I gotta get off my ass. Stop eating shit. Sweat, sweat, sweat. That's what I seriously need -- a SWEAT PARTNER. I have too many damn eating partners! Maybe I'll post an ad for a sweat partner on craigslist. It'd look like this:

26F SEEKING SWEAT PARTNER

Rotund Asian female is looking for a person who is willing to work out with her and push her beyond her limits. Applicant must be strong-minded and able to deter any and all excuses that may arise. No experience necessary. Just the will and determination to drag aforementioned female out of the house and get her ass moving.

Pets and children are welcome to accompany during sessions.
Compensation includes good company and wholesome conversations.

Hmm... The title may draw... unwanted attention. I'll have to work on that.

I just need to get my ass motivated again. I need some short term goals and just take it day-by-day. Okay. Bitchy rant over.


On to more exciting news: I LEAVE FOR VANCOUVER TOMORROW!!!!!!! EEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!!

Am I ready? YES!
Am I packed? No.

That is my only duty for the day -- to pack and clean up my room. My most loathed chores.

But! Then I'm off to my FINAL farewell dinner with Jennie and then spending some time with my CIGNA girls! Mayhaps some Kony shenanigans may be in order? Mayhaps.

Hopefully my next blog post will be from VANCOUVER! :)